Relationships, couples, intimacy: finding the right approach
Our relationships are what carries us best, and what costs us the most. A couple drifting apart, jealousy that poisons everything, a separation to go through, an intimacy that has faded, or simply the feeling of being alone: these situations do not share the same causes, and they are not worked on in the same way.
This page helps you identify what you are going through, then points you to the guide that covers it in detail. With one thing said upfront, because it shapes everything else: our support is individual.
Our hypnotherapists see you in practice or by video, anywhere in France.
Identify your situation
| What you are going through | Your page |
|---|---|
| Conflicts that keep coming back, a growing distance, jealousy that poisons things, an emotional dependency that exhausts you. | Love life & couples |
| A separation to decide on, to announce, or to go through — and the aftermath to rebuild. | Love life & couples · Grief & sadness |
| An intimacy that has faded, a sexual difficulty, a mismatch in desire within the couple. | Male sexuality · Female sexuality |
| You cannot say no, voice disagreement, or set a limit — in the couple or elsewhere. | Shyness & assertiveness |
| Disproportionate anger, words that go further than you meant. | Anger management |
| The feeling of being alone, a singleness that weighs on you, ties that have loosened. | See the "When loneliness weighs on you" section below |
What they share: relationships wake up what is dormant
These difficulties share the same root: a close relationship reactivates old mechanisms, often put in place long before it.
- Fear of being abandoned, which makes you cling on or leave before being left.
- The need to control, which reassures in the short term and suffocates in the long term.
- Difficulty saying no, which builds up years of silent frustration.
- Doubt about your own worth, which makes you accept the unacceptable or sabotage what is going well.
That is why the same patterns often repeat themselves from one relationship to another, with different partners. It is not bad luck: it is a mechanism — and a mechanism can be worked on.
It is also why the relational sphere so often touches the confidence one: many couple difficulties are, at root, difficulties with esteem or assertiveness (see Confidence & self-esteem).
Intimacy and sexuality: two dedicated pages
When the difficulty touches intimacy (low desire, a mismatch within the couple, a physical difficulty, apprehension…), two principles come first.
The medical check-up comes first, without exception: physical causes are common and can be taken in charge, and any pain calls for a consultation.
And the subject is handled with restraint: you share only what you choose to, and hypnosis works very well without details.
After that, the support differs depending on what applies to you:
- Male sexuality: erection difficulties linked to stress, ejaculating too fast, performance stress, lowered desire.
- Female sexuality: lowered or absent desire, difficulty letting go, pain, post-partum, menopause.
When loneliness weighs on you
Not every relationship difficulty involves a couple.
Singleness you did not choose, friendships that have drifted apart, the sense of having no one to call on a Sunday: these situations are common and rarely talked about, because we assume we should just accept them.
Support then focuses on what is holding you back: apprehension about reaching out to others (see Shyness & assertiveness), discouragement after disappointments, a self-image that has taken a hit (see Self-esteem), and sometimes an avoidance that set in without a conscious decision.
One honest clarification, though: we cannot create connections for you. What the work can do is remove what is stopping you from going out and finding them. And if the isolation comes with a mood that has collapsed and stays that way, a doctor is who to see first.
What hypnosis brings to relational life
What hypnosis brings, whatever your way in
- Defusing old scripts. Fear of abandonment, mistrust inherited from a betrayal, the need to control everything: these reactions settled in for good reasons, often long ago. They can be defused, and the present stops being read through the past.
- Softening immediate reactions. That moment when anger rises, when you say what you will regret, when you shut down. Working on that trigger changes a great many conversations (see Anger management).
- Finding the words. Saying what matters without accusing, setting a limit without attacking, expressing a need without dressing it up as a reproach. It is a skill, and it can be learned.
- Getting through what has to be got through. A separation, a betrayal, a relational grief: the work does not shorten the path, but it keeps you from getting stuck on it.
A limit we do not cross
One important clarification
We support one person at a time, in a story that involves several.
Concretely: we offer neither couples therapy, nor sex therapy, nor mediation. These are distinct practices, carried out by other professionals. If you are looking to come as a pair, it is to those professionals you should turn, and we will tell you so plainly.
That said, do not leave too quickly: working alone on a relationship is often more effective than people imagine. You will not change the other person — no one can — but you can change what you bring to the relationship: your reactions, your limits, the way you say things, what you tolerate and what you no longer tolerate. And a relationship is a system: when one person shifts, the balance moves.
When to see another professional
See a doctor or a psychologist if:
- the distress is significant and lasting;
- your mood collapses after a breakup or during a period of conflict;
- isolation sets in;
- a sexual difficulty persists.
The medical check-up then comes before anything else, without exception.
These situations are handled very effectively, including — on a doctor's referral — within the psychologist sessions covered by the French health insurance system.
And if you are looking for support as a pair, turn to a couples therapy professional or a sexologist depending on your situation; many are doctors or psychologists by training.
Find a hypnotherapist near you
In Office or Online Across France
Offices in Paris, Lille…
And if you live far away or elsewhere in the world, online sessions work very well. Evening slots available.
Frequently asked questions about hypnosis for better relationships
Yes, and it is in fact the format we work in.
You will not change the other person, but you can change what you bring: your reactions, your limits, the way you say things. A relationship is a system: when one person shifts, the balance moves.
Many of our clients arrive thinking they are coming "for want of anything better" and discover that working on their own part was exactly what was needed.
No. We support one person at a time: neither couples therapy, nor sex therapy, nor mediation.
These are distinct practices, carried out by other professionals and, in several regions, governed by reserved titles. If you would like to come as a pair, we will point you to the professionals concerned.
That is often the real question, and it deserves to be asked without self-judgement.
A useful marker: if the same script repeats from one relationship to another with different partners, something belongs to you — a fear, a need, a pattern — and it can be worked on. If the difficulty appeared with this particular relationship and did not exist before, it is the relationship to look at.
The first conversation is there for exactly that sorting.
No, and it would run counter to our role: we do not decide your life for you.
What the work does is make you clearer: about what you want, what you can bear, what you are prepared to do.
Some people leave more committed, others leave the relationship, others simply stop putting up with things. The decision stays yours, and it is taken with a cool head.
Absolutely. Singleness that weighs on you, dates that lead nowhere, the fear of committing or of being disappointed again: these are frequent reasons for coming.
The work then focuses on what is holding you back: apprehension about reaching out, discouragement, self-image.
We will not create connections for you, but we can lift what is stopping you from going out and finding them.
Not necessarily, and the reverse often works just as well.
Many relationship difficulties are, first of all, difficulties with esteem or assertiveness: in that case, the root is there. But acting on a concrete situation — daring to have a conversation, setting a limit — also feeds confidence.
We generally start with whatever weighs the most today.
Four to eight for most relationship topics. More when an old pattern is involved: fear of abandonment, a long-standing emotional dependency. A recent separation to go through follows the pace of the situation rather than a fixed format.
Not by the French health insurance system. Many complementary health insurers, however, offer an annual "complementary medicine" allowance: check your policy, we provide an invoice.
Worth noting: if your situation calls for a psychologist, a scheme of covered sessions exists on a referral from your doctor.
The guides in this theme
- Love life & couples: conflict, distance, jealousy, emotional dependency, separation.
- Male sexuality · Female sexuality: intimacy, depending on what applies to you.
- Grief & sadness: going through a breakup, a loss, a relational grief.
- Shyness & assertiveness: daring to speak up, daring to refuse, daring to reach out.
Hypnotherapy is complementary well-being support: it constitutes neither a diagnosis nor a treatment, and replaces neither medical advice nor medical or psychological follow-up. Our support is individual and constitutes neither couples therapy, nor sex therapy, nor mediation. In case of coercive control or violence, turn to the specialist services — 3919, the national helpline.
Page written by Daby Touré
hypnotherapist
partner at Solutions Hypnose.
Updated .